Sam Smart on Clubhouse

Bio

Blog + Opinion editor at The Ubyssey

What 😦 the 👏 fuck 🍆 did 👏 you 👈 just 👏 fucking 👉 say about 💦 me, 😭 you 👈 little 👌 bitch? 😱 I’ll 👏 have 👏 you 👈 know 💭 I graduated 🎓 top 🔝 of 💦 my 👨 class 🏫 in 👏 the 👏 Navy 🌊 Seals, 🐳 and 👏 I’ve 👏 been 👏 involved 👏 in 👏 numerous 🔢 secret 🙊 raids 💥 on 🔛 Al-Quaeda, 👳 and 👏 I have 👏 over 👏 300 💦 confirmed 💦 kills. 🔪 I am 👏 trained 👏 in 👏 gorilla 🙈 warfare 🔫 and 👏 I’m 👌 the 👏 top 🔝 sniper 🔭 in 👏 the 👏 entire 👏 US 👨 armed 💪 forces. 👏 You 👈 are 🔢 nothing 🚫 to 💦 me 😭 but 🍑 just 👏 another 🔄 target. 🎯 I will 👏 wipe 👏 you 👈 the 👏 fuck 🍆 out 💯 with 👏 precision 👏 the 👏 likes 👍 of 💦 which 👏 has 👏 never 🙅 been 👏 seen 👀 before 😂 on 🔛 this 👈 Earth, 🌎 mark 👀 my 👨 fucking 👉 words. 📓 You 👈 think 💭 you 👈 can 💦 get 🔟 away 😐 with 👏 saying 🗣 that 😐 shit 💩 to 💦 me 😭 over 👏 the 👏 Internet? 💻 Think 💭 again, 😬 fucker. 👉 As 🍑 we 👥 speak 🙊 I 👁 am 👏 contacting 📞 my 👨 secret 🙊 network 👏 of 💦 spies 👏 across 👏 the 👏 USA 👏 and 👏 your 👏 IP 👏 is 💦 being 😑 traced 🔬 right 👌 now 👋 so 💯 you 👈 better 👍 prepare 👏 for 🍆 the 👏 storm, 👏 maggot. 🐛 The 👏 storm 👏 that 😐 wipes 🙌 out 💯 the 👏 pathetic 😂 little 👌 thing 📴 you 👈 call 📲 your 👏 life. 👤 You’re 👏 fucking 👉 dead, 💀 kid. 👦 I 👁 can 💦 be 🐝 anywhere, 🌎 anytime, 🕑 and 👏 I 👁 can 💦 kill 🚬 you 👈 in 👏 over 👏 seven 🔥 hundred 💯 ways, 💯 and 👏 that’s 💪 just 👏 with 👏 my 👨 bare 🐻 hands. 🙌 Not 🚫 only 🕦 am 👏 I extensively 👏 trained 👏 in 👏 unarmed 👏 combat, 🔫 but 🍑 I have 👏 access 🔖 to 💦 the 👏 entire 👏 arsenal 🔫 of 💦 the 👏 United 👏 States 👌 Marine 👏 Corps 🐬 and 👏 I 👁 will 👏 use 👏 it 💯 to 💦 its 🙅 full 🌝 extent 📖 to 💦 wipe 👏 your 👏 miserable 🍑 ass 🍑 off 📴 the 👏 face 😀 of 💦 the 👏 continent, 🌎 you 👈 little 👌 shit. 💩 If 👏 only 🕦 you 👈 could 🔒 have 👏 known 🎓 what 😦 unholy 🙌 retribution 👏 your 👏 little 👌 “clever” 👏 comment 💬 was 👏 about 💦 to 💦 bring 🚶 down 🔻 upon 👦 you, 👈 maybe 👏 you 👈 would 👪 have 👏 held 👏 your 👏 fucking 👉 tongue. 👅 But 🍑 you 👈 couldn’t, 😲 you 👈 didn’t, 👏 and 👏 now 👋 you’re 👏 paying 💲 the 👏 price, 💲 you 👈 goddamn 😤 idiot. 💢 I will 👏 shit 💩 fury 👏 all 💯 over 👏 you 👈 and 👏 you 👈 will 👏 drown 🌊 in 👏 it. 💯 You’re 👏 fucking 👉 dead, 💀 kiddo. 👏