Orphic Amour on Clubhouse

Bio

I want to be happy; but I think of many things that makes me sad.
I'm lazy yet I'm ambitious.
I don't like myself, but I also love who I'm
I say I don't care but I really do
I seek attention but reject when it comes my way.

I'm conflicted contradiction like a paradox.
I can't figure out myself

I find all meaningless.,

What is it????
What am I seeking???
Nothing motivates me.
Empty
feeling like a corpse.
As if there is no destination to go.
As if There is no one to wait for.
As if There are no tears for crying.
As if there is no joy for happiness.
As if there is nothing to search for.
everything seems meaningless to me
Is there someone somewhere like me??
Or Am I the only one ....