Matto Barzanii on Clubhouse

Bio

I’m really
Really
Goood at
Lying 🤤

The darker pages🖤🖕🏻
Beware⚠️
This chapter is for the darker pages. The pages people don’t dare write about these are the pages that make me different. Because I’m not hiding them in the shadows anymore i have written these bu I have never shown them to a soul this is the time I’m showing them. The best advice I have got ten is write about what you are most scared to say here is what I’m scared to say. I’m scared about the people that will perceive me different after reading these. That will show their pity in their eyes. I don’t want your pity. These are the pages that no one talks about. A trigger warning ⚠️ these pages may get to much at times these pages are here to show you that these are real feelings and thoughts. If you are feelings suicidal please find help or call the hotline and please understand that you are not alone you are never alone even though out of the 7 billion on the planet you feel like you are suffering in silence you aren’t enjoy the darker pages

Entry 02.07.18 one of the darker days

I don’t think I have felt this alone for a while. I woke up this morning three hours before my alarm hoping praying that nothing happened that I would wake up on Tuesday February sixth and realize it was all just a nightmare but it wasn’t that was reality I’m a stupid teenager i may even be a slut who knows? But why does my life have to follow a plan? Why Am i treated like a puppet? Why am i not good enough in their eyes? My mind is common to over thinking…. My mind is prone to insanity the cuts i lay upon my thigh and arms aren’t even a little pain that im feeling in my head most times i won der why I haven’t killed myself yet. I was so happy but now im so very sad I don’t think my happiness ever stays long I don’t think it will over stay long the sadess always comes back to haunt our minds
The pain will never go away
La tristesse durera toujours








Maybe we’re the bad guys 🙃




I don’t know what hurts more
My heart
Or
My brain
-confusion