Andy George on Clubhouse

Bio

About Me? I am from a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious red ants. I play bluegrass cello, I w couted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Saturdays after shul, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children and dogs trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish my dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several covert operations with the CIA. I sleep once a week; and when I do sleep, I sleep standing up, eyes open. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Lady Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.

Are you really still reading? . OK - First we go to home depot and pick up some power tools - then we rescue a litter of kittens from a tree, build a house for a homeless family, cure world hunger, solve global warming and establish peace in the Middle East - then off to Paris, because they don't sell decent champagne in this country (it's pasteurized), and that night we sleep in London - because for some reason, English sheets and pillows are the best to sleep on, then finally to Vegas to get married by Siamese twin, midget, lesbian Elvis impersonators. Ok, maybe that's a little much. How about at the end of the night no one needs stitches, bail, or notification of next of kin...!